


I’m Not Your Happiness (I’m Just a Part of It)

by Cloud_Lightning



Series: Beyond the Names [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Flashbacks, Multi, Pre-OT3, Pre-Poly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:41:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26120560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloud_Lightning/pseuds/Cloud_Lightning
Summary: Supergirl, the CEO of L-Corp, and Director Lane caught in the middle of the storm caused by someone close to them. The three of them fight in their own way to protect National City from any harm, while at the same time trying to explore their newfound feeling for each other.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lucy Lane, Kara Danvers/Lucy Lane/Lena Luthor, Lucy Lane/Lena Luthor
Series: Beyond the Names [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/647042
Comments: 3
Kudos: 46





	I’m Not Your Happiness (I’m Just a Part of It)

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I'm just three years late, right? And yes, this story still contains lots of flashback like the previous one, italic is for flashback, of course

_Kara Zor-El Danvers sighed deeply when she finally returned to her Earth, Earth-38. She made up her mind; she would tell Lena the truth. Kara Danvers, the newbie reporter from CatCo Magazine is actually Supergirl. And she would very much like to have a date with the enigma that was Lena Luthor, Kara’s friend. Best friend._

_Really Kara wouldn’t mind calling Lena her best friend at this point._

_Kara closed her eyes and took a deep breath, enjoying the warmth of the yellow sun on her skin and the smell of the ocean._

_Lena has proved herself over and over again, that she’s different from the rest of her family. She willingly put her own mother in jail to save National City from Cadmus’ harm. How far does she have to go in order to prove her loyalty anyway?_

_Plus, it would be better if Kara herself was the one that told Lena about her secret identity. She didn’t want Lillian or god forbid, Lex, was the one that told Lena the truth and used that information to pit them against each other. She didn’t want to hurt Lena._

_Kara’s talk with Sara Lance and Barry Allen was an eye-opener._

_Both Barry and Sara agreed that Kara should tell Lena the truth first if she wanted to move their friendship to another level, from the truth about her being Supergirl to her feelings for Lena. Kara told them how she was afraid that Lena would reject her, or even stop being her friend if she found out about Kara’s feelings for Lena. She knew humans here on Earth are really having a strong feeling about their sexuality. While back at Krypton, it doesn’t matter what gender your partner is as long as you and your partner is, are, yes the Kryptonian relationship sometimes contains more than one partner, compatible within the Matrix._

_That’s why she was so angry at Winn that day at CatCo’s helipad, because of the human obsession with labels. They have the opportunity to have whoever they desire, without the complexity of a Matrix, yet they made it hard with this sexuality. The guilt and shame if your sexuality is different. Why can’t they just love each other no matter the gender?_

_Then she’s not worth your time, they said. Don’t cry for someone that couldn’t accept who you are as a whole. But after hearing more of Kara’s stories, they both sure that at least Lena likes her, why would someone that hate her would send Kara food every day during lunch break? Or the fact that she canceled some important meetings so that she could have more time for Kara._

_Don’t build a relationship based on lies, Kara. That was they said right before Kara walked into the portal, both of them wished her good luck and hoping that one day, when they meet again, Kara would tell them a much happier story about her and Lena._

_Sometimes Kara wished that she was still on Krypton, that her parents were still alive and could help her navigate this challenge. Or her aunt… Her dearly beloved Aunt Astra, Kara wished Aunt Astra was here with her right now and both of them could talk about how Earth’s culture was so vastly different and far more confusing than the one on Krypton._

_But Kara Zor-El Danvers was no longer at Krypton and her aunt was no longer here, so she has to hold up the culture of this world. No matter how hurt she was because she wanted to preserve Krypton’s culture, but she can’t do it alone._

_No, not alone._

_Kal-El was a Kryptonian._

_Sometimes Kara forgot about it because Kal-El was more human than a Kryptonian._

* * *

_“You really need to change your lock, Danvers.”_

_The sound of the gun being pulled and cocked made Lucy’s smile bigger. “Is this where I say ‘Is that gun in your pants or you just happy to see me?’ line?”_

_“Lucy, Jesus Christ!” Alex hissed. “I could have killed you, you know!”_

_“Don’t turn on the light!” Lucy ordered when she saw Alex was about to turn the light._

_Lucy heard the sound of the safety of Alex’s gun being put back and said gun was being placed on the table along with the keys._

_“Care to tell me what the fuck are you doing here? Sitting in the dark at my place after almost six months went missing, without even a single goodbye?”_

_So yeah, Alex Danvers was pissed and really it’s Lucy’s fault as well for leaving without saying goodbye. But goodbyes were something luxurious for people like them. Lucy sighed deeply, the light from the outside world was the only source of light inside this room. She missed her old basecamp already, away from all the civilization, all these artificial lights, and unnecessary sound._

_“Hey to you too as well, Danvers.”_

_Alex just scoffed and put her hands on hips, eyebrow raised._

_“I can’t tell you where I’ve been since it was a secret mission,” Lucy raised her eyebrow when Alex snorted. “But I can tell you it got something to do with Cadmus.”_

_At the mention of Cadmus, Alex’s posture went rigid. “What do you know about Cadmus?”_

_Lucy patted the space next to her. “Why don’t you sit down first? I mean come on, you said it yourself. It’s been six months, Alex.”_

_“Alright, but you’re going to tell me everything.”_

_“Not everything,” Lucy’s left arm was on the back of the couch, her palm supporting her head. “Selective information that I think would not cause you any harm if I share it with you.”_

_“Should I take the gun again and force the information out of you?” Alex asked with a menacing voice._

_Lucy laughed softly. “Not the kind of gunplay I was hoping for.”_

_Alex choked. “Lucy!”_

_“What’s the harm of sitting next to me?”_

_Alex sighed in defeat and sat next to her. “Okay, talk.” She said with her arms on her chest._

_“Long story short, my dad is pissed because Cadmus went public.” Lucy couldn’t tell Alex that Lillian Luthor was behind Cadmus. No one knows it yet, not even Lena Luthor. At least that was what Lucy thought, she hoped her gut feelings were right. And also that lists about people who were involved with Cadmus she got from Barbara Gordon._

_“Who’s the leader?”_

_“Come on Danvers, you have to do better than that.”_

_Suddenly Alex shifted and now Lucy got herself one Alex Danvers within arm reach. Lucy could smell Alex’s breath, she still smelled like that cheap coffee at the DEO. Good to know even after they moved the HQ, they haven’t changed that crappy coffee. One more thing that made her miss her old base, no cheap coffee. Being a leader of the base certainly has its perk, and Lucy used it to her advantage._

_“Who. Is. The. Leader?” Alex asked slowly._

_“I can’t tell you.”_

_“Please tell me it’s not your dad.”_

_“No,” Lucy shook her head._

_“Then why are you here if you’re not going to tell me anything!”_

_Lucy Lane was weak and now it was biting her in the ass. She was here only for J’onn, as a part of her father’s plan to keep an eye on the last remaining two Luthor. Playing a double agent would be a pain in the ass, no doubt. But she needed to do it if she wanted to take Cadmus down and free it from the military grasp. Yes, Lucy Lane was just supposed to have a meeting with J’onn J’onzz, pretending that she deflected from her father._

_Not visiting her crush!_

_Okay, ex-crush._

_“I can’t tell you right now, but I just want you to know it was for the greater good.”_

_Alex gripped Lucy’s wrist, their faces were just an inch away. “Cut this crap, Lucy. Why are you here?!”_

_Lucy just smiled sadly, she can’t do it. No matter how hard she tried, how many hours she spent into making scenarios on how she would tell Alex about her feelings, the Major can’t do it. “Just, be careful with Cadmus, okay.”_

_Slowly, Alex released her grip from Lucy’s wrist. “Fine, be a difficult person, then. See if I care,” she crossed her arms._

_“I can’t really see you, but I’m pretty sure you’re pouting right now.”_

_“I am not.”_

_“Uh uh.”_

_No one spoke for a while. There’s soft music coming from Alex’s neighbor, probably those TOP 40 songs that Lucy couldn’t even pretend to enjoy even if she’s being held at a gunpoint._

_Until Lucy cleared her throat. “Hey, Alex.”_

_“What?”_

_“Do you…”_

_“What? Spill it out, Lane,” Alex nudged Lucy’s foot._

_Should Lucy tell her the truth? She’s been gone for six months now, she wasn’t even sure that Alex ever had a feeling for her in the first place. Maybe she’s just projecting? God, how fucked up was that, first she had a crush on Kara, and now her sister, but in the end, Lucy couldn’t really choose between the two of them. And they both deserve so much more, deserve someone better than Lucy Lane, someone that would disappear in a blink of an eye because of some mission._

_The Major took a deep breath and asked casually. “So, find anyone attractive lately?”_

_“I’ll tell you if you tell me who Cadmus’ boss is.”_

_“Damn, Danvers. That’s a hard bargain.”_

_“I know.”_

_“Well, I guess I just need to find out myself.”_

_“What?”_

_“I’m back to DEO.”_

_“So you’re going to be my boss, again?”_

_“Yup.”_

_Alex groaned and slapped her forehead. “Great, awesome. You better bring your own coffee ‘cause I’m not going to let you steal mine.”_

_“They still haven’t changed that awful coffee at the pantry?”_

_“Apparently we don’t have any budget for a decent coffee.”_

_Lucy chuckled as she walked toward the door. “My first act as one of the DEO’s leaders is to change the coffee.”_

_“Good luck with that.”_

_Lucy smiled sadly before she left Alex alone in the darkness._

* * *

_Lena sighed deeply as the sound of voicemail was the one that greeted her instead of Kara’s chirpy voice. She missed her best friend so much, and she thought Kara would at least come to her for an interview or two. Of course, CatCo sent someone else, but Lena refused to meet them politely, just like what she did with numerous other reporters. She only wants Kara Danvers, but she’s out of reach. She did ask James about Kara’s whereabouts, and he only said that he gave Kara an assignment to cover some major stories about Wonder Woman._

_Well, she couldn’t really compete with Wonder Woman now can she?_

_Lena almost threw her phone out of frustration because she couldn’t reach Kara. Part of her thinking that there’s no way Kara would leave just because what happened with Cadmus. She knew that Lena was different from her family, she’s different from Lex. Or maybe they weren’t so different after all, maybe Lena was more good at hiding her evil nature than the rest of her family. You know, playing the long term goal and all that._

_She laughed bitterly into the emptiness of her office. God, she sounded so delirious, she needed to sleep. When was the last time she even had a decent sleep anyway? Probably ten years ago, save and sound in the arms of her then-girlfriend, Veronica Sinclair. Nowadays, Lena considers four hour sleep as a miracle since she’s a light sleeper or when her nightmare was worse that she’s afraid to go back to sleep and spend the rest of the night tinkering away inside the lab?_

_The sun has set on the horizon, leaving a dash of purple and orange in the sky. For a brief moment, Lena just watched the sunset, imagining that she’s on the beach right now. She is still afraid of the open sea because of what happened to her birth mother, but Veronica has been a great help to her. God, she missed Veronica now. But after her little stunt with Supergirl, ambushing her little mobile fight club, Lena wasn’t sure that Veronica would welcome her back with an open arm. A knife to the throat is more likely._

_Lena closed her eyes and wished that she could get at least a decent sleep tonight, four days straight without sleep was torture enough for her._

* * *

“Did we already send men to Lord’s place?” Lena asked without moving her eyes from the screen, arms folded on her chest.

“We did, they’re en route to his building now.” J’onn looked over to Winn. “Did you manage to track Lord?”

“Yes, he’s still in the building. Top floor, probably he’s hiding inside his bunker or something.” Winn sighed and he glanced over to Lena. “Who do you think is the culprit behind this?”

“Well, not Cadmus since we already take control over it. And I always made sure no one is stealing its weapons from behind my back,” Lena almost bit her fingernail, a bad habit she couldn’t shake after all these years, she clenched her hands instead. “Probably someone new.”

Lena looked over her shoulder, she saw Lucy was guiding Alex to the medbay, Alex was so shocked when she saw Kara’s aunt, Astra. Actually, not just her, almost every DEO personal was looking at the screen like they were looking at a ghost. If it weren’t for that time when Alex told her about it, Lena wouldn’t probably understand. But now, she understood why Alex reacted that way.

* * *

_They’ve been hosting the game night at Lena’s apartment now since her place was bigger than Kara’s, well, her place was the biggest between them all anyway. Not that it bothers her, ever since Lucy lived here with her, the place that once Lena saw as nothing but another asset has slowly become a place to call home. She rarely goes back to her place before Lucy, always staying at the office, only coming back to take a shower and clean clothes. And after she installed a bathroom, Lena rarely leaves the office if it weren’t for an emergency._

_At first, Lena was afraid that she wouldn’t fit between them, she’s a Luthor after all, and the new kid on the block. And yet, she fit perfectly well between Kara and Lucy, and she made a killer team with Alex. It also helped a lot that she already knew Kara’s secret, so everyone could just be themselves, just a group of friends enjoying their time together, having fun. Something Lena has never done before due to the lack of friends. Now she has so many that she didn’t know what to do with it._

_“Okay, I think we should raise the stake here,” Alex said between her munching._

_Lena raised her eyebrow, the two of them were on snack duty while the others were still debating on what they should play for tonight. Winn was hellbent refusing to play UNO because everyone kept using the “wrong” rule. It’s not their fault that Winn decided to pick the losing side, who the hell forbid dropping another plus card on top of the other? A loser, that’s who._

_“What, the losing team buys us a week worth of lunch?”_

_Alex laughed before drinking her soda. She stopped drinking now, Alex, four months clean and going stronger. Lena remembered when Alex told her about her AA meeting, part of her still couldn’t believe that the two of them were already at this point of friendship, where they could just talk about everything and anything. Lena wouldn’t lie, her heart feels warm when Alex trusted her enough to tell her about that._

_“I’m sure all of us would go broke just to cover my sister’s lunch for three days. Except you, maybe.”_

_“I still don’t know how she gets the money to buy food.” Lena took the red M &M and ate it. “Did people give her free food?” _

_“They did try, one time.”_

_“Wait, what?”_

_“Yup, they made this, uh, shrine, and put lots of food there. But since Kara couldn’t accept it, no matter how delicious the food was, she told them to just donate those foods to the local shelter. So now, when you saw someone donating food using the name of ‘Supergirl’s temple’, yeah, that’s them.”_

_“A temple? Did they worship Kara and everything?”_

_“Yup. They even tried to make it into a religion, but their motion was denied.”_

_“Oh, thank god. That would be awkward for Kara.” Alex nodded. “But still, how does she get the money though. It’s not like CatCo pays her well, and with the amount of food that Kara needs for a day, I don’t think her salary from CatCo alone is enough.”_

_“She’s tutoring rich kids.”_

_“Really?”_

_“Yeah, even those college kids. And well, since my sister is an alien, she’s smart in every subject so she’s not short on people to tutor. Plus super speed, she could write a hundredth page of an essay within two minutes.”_

_Lena groaned, feeling a bit jealous. “I still won’t forgive her for playing dumb that one time when I asked her input for my newest technology.”_

_Alex laughed and raised her soda can._

_“Hey, come on, we’re playing Jenga.” Suddenly, Kara stood in the kitchen, she’s still wearing her glasses, even though everyone in the group already knew who she was. Kara said the glasses made her look cute and smart, so she’s kept using it._

_Alex and Lena looking at each other._

_“Jenga?” They both asked at the same time._

_“Well, it’s either that or Monopoly.”_

_“Monopoly for me.”_

_“Me too,” Alex said._

_Kara huffed. “Well, hurry up and tell that to Winn then.”_

_“Kara, please take this to the living room, won’t you?” Lena said as she pushed two bowls full of M &M. _

_“Okay.” She took the bowls and left._

_Just about when Lena wants to follow Kara, Alex stops her with a touch on her wrist._

_“Lena, wait.”_

_“Hmmm?”_

_“I’m… I know it’s really late, but,” she sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. “I’m really sorry about what happened with your mother.”_

_“Oh.” Lena wasn’t sure what she should say._

_“I mean, it’s not like we’re close at that time, right? I can’t just come up to you and say that before.”_

_“True, I would probably think there’s something wrong with you.” Lena chuckled, hoping that it would dissolve this awkward tension._

_“How’s the nasty gossip? Are they still talking about it?”_

_“The media would never stop talking about a Luthor, Alex, not even when we die. So yeah, they’re still pretty much talking about my supposed betrayal to my mother.”_

_Alex sighed and shook her head. “I’m really sorry to hear that.”_

_“It’s fine, I got used to it.”_

_“Can I ask you something?”_

_Lena cocked her head to the side. “Of course.”_

_Alex took a deep breath and sat on one of the stools, she’s avoiding Lena’s eyes. “This is gonna sound weird, but I just…”_

_“Alex, I’m a Luthor, I’m used to weird questions.”_

_But Alex didn’t laugh like she used to when Lena joked about her family, the Luthor’s eyes widened when she realized Alex was shaking. “Alex, what’s wrong?” Lena sat in front of her, reaching out to touch Alex’s hands. “What’s wrong?”_

_“How far are you willing to go in order to stop your family?”_

_“I’m sorry, what?” Lena blinked a few times, she didn’t prepare to hear that kind of question._

_“I’m not, shit, I’m not questioning your loyalty, no,” Alex shook her head. “I was just…” She laughed bitterly. “I don’t know how…”_

_“Alex, you can talk to me about everything, you know that.”_

_Alex took another deep breath, hands still shaking. Lena thought that maybe she should call Kara, but she did wait until her sister was out of the room, so maybe that’s not the best scenario. Plus, Kara had something else to worry about, after her last fight with the newest big bad villain of the week, Kara’s power was drained out. Sure, she said it didn’t affect her much and how her power would come back on its own, but still._

_“I killed someone.”_

_Lena’s body turns cold. She knew Alex, Lucy, and everyone at the DEO never kill anyone, they always try to bring the enemy down without doing something fatal. So hearing this… Did Alex kill an alien, or some random human?_

_“She, uh,” Alex was crying. Oh, Lena never saw her cry before. “I don’t even know how…”_

_“Alex.”_

_“She’s Kara’s aunt,” Alex choked out those words. “And I killed her.”_

_Lena could only stare in disbelief as Alex hugged her, she cried into Lena’s shoulder. She didn’t know that, Kara never told her anything about having an aunt. Maybe it was too painful for her to talk about it._

_“It’s been two years but I still… I haven’t been able…” Alex was hiccupping. “She tried to kill J’onn, and I… I have to stop her. I killed her.”_

_Lena could only pat Alex’s back awkwardly, what do you say in during this kind of conversation anyway. So Lena didn’t say anything, she just let her cry in her embrace for a while. Having too many human emotions contact since her friendship with Kara and then Lucy made Lena think that maybe, maybe Alex just needed someone to hold her cry, to hear the reason why she cried in the first place without being judged. How could Alex cry about feeling guilty for killing Kara’s aunt to her sister, she lost her only family left, and Alex has to live with the burden of guilt for the rest of her life._

_Alex’s question did make Lena reconsidered everything. All this time, she thought that prison could keep her family away, but what if it wasn’t enough? Would she be stronger than she was today, strong enough that she's willing to put a bullet in Lex’s head, or her mother’s?_

* * *

“Supergirl!” J’onn’s voice pulled Lena back into the present.

“Everyone, calm down, I’m fine.”

Lena froze when she heard that voice. She hoped that she misheard it, but when she turned around, her fear was right.

There, standing in front of Supergirl, was Cat Grant in all of her glory.

Lena ignored the feeling of her heart sinking into her stomach, unwilling to jump into conclusion about what could happen to her relationship with Kara now that Cat was back in National City again.

“Lucy! I’m so glad there’s at least one person with a brain cell here!” Cat said haughtily as she walked over to Lucy and kissed her cheek.

Lena could only stare in horror, watching Lucy’s eyes widen when Cat kissed her as a greeting.

The two of them looked over to Kara, but all they saw was nothing but adoration for Cat. Their eyes met again after J’onn peeled Cat away from Lucy, and at that moment, they both knew, there was nothing left to fight.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I'm still on tumblr like a loser, I'm @nightwhite13, hmu if you wanna talk or something


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